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The World and the Wheel by *OneForTheFence:iconOneForTheFence:



When it is, it is
And when it's not, it's not
And when you do believe it is
Consider that it's not.

When you're up, you're up
And when you're down, you're down
And sometimes when you're going up
You're also coming down.

When it's bad, it's bad
And when it's good, it's good
And if it's only sort of bad
It might be sort of good.

When you know, you know
And when you don't, you don't
And if you think you maybe know
It may be that you don't.

When it's there, it's there
And when it's gone, it's gone
And if it's only halfway there
It's only halfway gone.
:icononeforthefence:

Author's Comments

Here's a bit of idiosyncratic existentialist-Zen meter that's been jangling in my head for a little while. I finally decided to write it down. It's simultaneously the most poignant and the most pointless thing that's ever come from my brain.

Note :: sing this out loud! :D and don't take it too seriously.

Comments


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:iconsoramidori:
I think the critique by MaskedVengeance was fair and honest. It's not that you don't have talent or that it's a terrible poem. I think you had a great idea in your head and maybe it didn't come out exactly as you envisioned it. There are many ways to say the same thing, and sometimes it's hard to find the words, but it's worth it because originality greatly improves the quality of your work and makes it more interesting.

I really like what you're trying to say with this poem, I just think you can do a much better job of expressing the idea with different words. I hope you let the critique help you. Best of luck in all your future work! :)

--
All knowledge is currency, you just have to know where to use it.

:bulletgreen:my BLOG:bulletgreen:my GALLERY:bulletgreen:
:icononeforthefence:
Like I told MaskedVengeance, thank you for your thoughts. However, I didn't mean to select Critique when submitting this. It was a result of tab mis-usage and slow internet. The critique was fair and thorough, but this was never a piece meant for critiques and I apologize for the mistake and any time people put into such. Thank you for the feedback and the time, though. I appreciate it a lot.

--
We were one among the Fence.
:iconsoramidori:
Oops. Ok. Thank you for responding.

P.S. Nice gallery. :)

--
All knowledge is currency, you just have to know where to use it.

:bulletgreen:my BLOG:bulletgreen:my GALLERY:bulletgreen:

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April 16
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